Day 3 of Holidailies – entry two. Oops. The hazards of putting the kids to bed when they go to sleep in my bed. I lay down with them, just until they fall asleep… and then I wake up at 3 am, still in my jeans and with all the lights on downstairs. And with my entry unwritten. Fortunately for writing, they are with Tom tonight, so the only Sleep Rays I need to resist are those of the dogs.
Tonight I started working on making holiday cards. I haven’t sent out a letter in at least three years. Not since the separation. I’m not sure if I’ll write a letter, but I am enjoying creating the cards. I pulled out all of the supplies – the scrapbooking paper and stickers and inks and stamps, the markers and embossing powder, and the die cutter. I spent a good couple of hours working on just one card. And for those two hours I wasn’t overthinking things. I wasn’t worrying. I was just enjoying myself. A small taste of the season, and maybe this is a way in. One thing at a time.
This time of year has been hard for a while now. I had some pretty fierce anxiety and depression in the weeks after Miriam was born. It was this time of year three years ago when I finally hit the wall with my marriage. Last year I got hit with a stomach flu that put my on my ass mentally as well as physically, and then I had to figure out how to do Christmas for the kids when I could barely keep from committing myself.
In between, though, from about February until November 8th, I was doing really well. I’m not letting this pull me off course entirely.